Karen Charles is a children’s book author and educator. She lives with her husband on a beautiful bay in Washington State. Her latest book is the thriller, Fateful Connections.
Website: https://karenrabe18.wixsite.com/my-site-2
Twitter: https://twitter.com/karenra24229683
Thanks for this interview, Karen.Would you say it’s been a rocky road for you in regards to getting your book written and published or pretty much smooth sailing? Can you tell us about your journey?
Thank you for having me. That's an interesting question. At first, I didn't realize I was writing a book. I was simply writing a blog because I could barely talk, and my friends and family wanted to know how I was doing. A few years later, I began to develop the blog into a book. I enjoyed the process of creating the book and even editing. Once I finished the manuscript, I queried for about six months -- mere seconds in publishing time! That process I did not enjoy. The rejections didn't bother me so much as the immense amount of time required simply to research agents open to submissions in your genre, personalize queries and proposals etc.. It also became clear that the industry was not buying many memoirs from non-famous people. By this time, I felt twelve months pregnant with the material. I needed it to get out of me by any means necessary and go become whatever it is meant to become in the world. So, I self-published. I think many authors feel like they cannot feel good about their work without validation from traditional publishing, which is understandable. And I would have absolutely accepted a good offer! But that book baby was taking up my entire body, I needed it out ASAP, and I did not feel as if I needed anyone industry validation for this particular book. This book is my heart, soul, blood, and tears. It matters because my daughter Alice matters, because grief is valid, and because child loss happens even if it is the last thing we want to contemplate. If I ever write a non-memoir book, I will try the traditional route again, but my love was poured into every page of this book and it was time to spread the love...even if only one other person ever reads it.
When not writing, what do you like to do for relaxation and/or fun?
The mountains are my church and trees are my gurus, so I immerse myself in nature as much as possible. I love hiking, dancing, swimming, yoga, reading, writing, watching comedians, and hanging out with my fourteen-year-old daughter.
What makes your book stand out from the rest?
These types of questions are tough for a Midwestern girl! I would say the grief book I wanted to read when Alice died didn't exist. So, I wrote one. Well, possibly two. When Alice died, I was thrust into an enormous existential crisis. Yes, there was grief. Grief is not fun, but grief also doesn't bother me too much. Grief comes up, I let it do its work on me, and then it blows away. I felt 100% entitled to my grief, and I was old enough to not care if anyone else didn't like it. My beautiful child died for no reason; I am going to cry sometimes. The end. For me, the grief part was not the trickiest part. For me, the trauma of finding her, the abrupt change in identity and public perception, and the endless questioning of natural law, the meaning of life, etc., etc. were far more debilitating than the grief.
Can you give us the very first page of your book so that we can get a glimpse inside?
Chapter 1: Tuesday, August 6, 2013: The Alleged Day Off
Tuesdays are my alleged day off. I say “alleged” because, like most self-employed parents, I am rarely “off.” Tuesdays are meant to be my catch-up day. Some Tuesdays I took my two daughters on an adventure for a “special day.” Sometimes, I spent them with a sick kid, caretaking and trying to keep myself well. Tuesday, August 6, 2013, was clearly going to be the latter. My youngest, Alice, woke up early with a 99º temperature and a raspy voice. An early riser in a house full of night owls, Alice had recently become more assertive about waking the rest of us. She had celebrated her second birthday just eleven days prior and I was preparing to get her a “big girl” bed to celebrate, but this morning, she had to rely on croakily calling from her crib.
I always wondered if my daughters’ sleep schedules were due to their birth times. My eldest daughter, Grace, made an evening entrance three days after her due date. It didn’t go as hoped, but I had a healthy baby girl so I didn’t give it a second thought. A “late” baby born via emergency C-section was my second lesson in how “kids don’t care about your plans and timelines.” Scary bits forgotten the love I felt for her was intoxicating. Grace was teeny-tiny and would not sleep unless she was attached to my body, and even then, it was iffy. I was a newlywed running my new acupuncture clinic while still teaching Pilates clients, and working on a doctoral dissertation … with a colicky baby in tow. What I’m trying to say is: I was tired, and this old broad wasn’t expecting to find herself expecting within six weeks of discontinuing birth control measures. Grace’s conception was the happiest surprise of my life as well as my first lesson in “kids don’t give a flip about your plans and timelines.”
Two-and-a-half years later, Alice arrived seven hours and thirty-five
minutes into her due date after being conceived on spontaneous attempt
No. 1, thus proving that occasionally kids do adhere to the expected
timeline. Now I had two happiest days of my life. When the lactation
nurse handed Alice to me for the first feeding, I thought, “Huh. This
one looks nothing like the other one,” because Alice had chubby
cheeks, unlike Grace. Alice then commando-crawled over to my left
breast, latched on, and went to town. I did nothing. I did not know
newborns could commando-crawl or initiate the first feeding. Then Alice
slept in her bassinet next to my bed; I did not have to touch her for
her to sleep. She didn’t look like Grace; she didn’t act like Grace. I
knew in one second that Alice would be different than her sister. I was
excited to learn what those differences might be.
When you were young, did you ever see writing as a career or full-time profession?
Now that I think of it, I do believe I knew I would write in some capacity even if it was more academic or simply for pleasure.
What’s next for you?
I am pitching some essays and about to launch a Substack with some courses. Once I get through that, I will probably start a second book. I also have an idea for a picture book I'd like to write. It won't be about grief, but it will be about another topic that is nearly universal that no one wants to discuss. I am here for all of the unmentionable topics, ha!
Melissa M. Monroe
Independent
Memoir
Paralyzed by guilt, grief, and PTSD after her 2-year-old daughter Alice died in her sleep of unknown causes, acupuncturist Melissa Monroe determined not to become a victim in the story of her life. While taking the advice she had given to many grief and trauma patients throughout the years, hoping she could create a meaningful life without closure, she took notes throughout her healing process.
Struggling to advance her timeline beyond that of her daughter’s – and still eager to be the keeper of Alice’s stories – Melissa began to write about Alice’s life and the impact of her death. She became her own lab rat, trying various approaches to healing with the hope that her experience might be helpful to others stuck in a trauma time loop.
As much a study of trauma’s effect on time perception as it is an intimate view into the heart and mind of a bereaved mother, Mom’s Search for Meaning shows us that meaning resides in the search itself…with a spoonful of gallows humor to help the medicine go down.
Praise:
“Melissa doesn’t just say the way out is through, she very much takes us through what that looks like. And in being so specific, I think it’s universally relatable. The final chapter is “To be, or not to be”-level work. This is mom-loss Shakespeare.” Teresa Strasser, author of Exploiting My Baby, the upcoming Making It Home, and co-host of the syndicated TV show The List
“Melissa’s book provides powerful testimony to the strength of the human spirit and our vulnerable, complicated, and yet inspirational ability to heal.” Kim Cookson, Psy.D., founder of the Trauma and Resiliency Training and Services Program at the Southern California Counseling Center
“It is the story of how one person found her way – with grief and with pain, but also with humor and grace – back to a life that would be forever different, but which couldn’t be, and wouldn’t be, anything less than purposeful and honest.” Dan Koeppel, author of To See Every Bird on Earth, Banana: The Fate of the Fruit That Changed the World, and Every Minute is a Day
“The explorations of compassion are deep, Melissa’s march toward love is inspiring, and the writing is beautiful. It is a book about child loss that – at times – made me laugh out loud. I will never stop thinking about this book. And I am so glad.” Liz Friedlander, film and television director
Amazon: https://tinyurl.com/yrmuumc6
Barnes & Noble: https://tinyurl.com/mryd9z7s
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/123189454
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