Thursday, July 30, 2015

Book Review: My Spouse Wants More Sex Than Me by Dr. Ruxandra LeMay #nonfiction

Title: My Spouse Wants More Sex Than Me: The 2-Minute Solution for a Happier Marriage
Author: Dr. Ruxandra LeMay
Publisher: LJAR Services, LTC.
Pages: 67
Genre: Nonfiction/Psychology/Self-Help
Format: Kindle/Paperback (available soon)

Purchase at Amazon



Is “not enough sex” a daily or weekly argument in your relationship?

Is sex at the bottom of your to-do list after mopping the floors, laundry, and packing the kids’ lunches?Would you rather catch up on your favorite show than have sex?

Then this book is for you.

Nowadays, women work more than ever; they juggle a career, a household, kids, bills, pets, their own parents and in-laws.  In a relationship, marriage to be precise, sex is on a continuum: from hot and sweaty to non-existent. The author has seen numerous couples in therapy, all struggling to make the transition from “I can’t breathe without you” to “I would rather sleep than have sex.” Although most couples experience these changes, many don’t know how to handle them. Women feel exhausted, guilty, and wondering whether they need medication to feel some sort of sexual desire again. Men feel unloved, misunderstood, and highly frustrated. Nobody wins. And sometimes, the table turns and the man has a lower sex drive.

This unique book offers a practical solution that is a great compromise for both genders. It’s fast and easy to implement and maintain. It’s the real deal. The goals are realistic, easily attained, and make an actual difference in the relationship.

Dr. LeMay also talks about the fact that the female and male sex drives are different but there is no reason to apologize for such a difference. There is nothing wrong with women that have a low sex drive and not all men are addicted just because they like sex.

This book offers a compilation of tips and ideas to increase assertiveness and honesty during sex. Finally, the author introduces 10 insights into what affects female sex drive such as husband’s participation in household chores, his effort in looking good for his spouse, and his willingness to accommodate his wife’s sexual needs.

My Review:

Let's see a show of hands whose spouse wants more sex than you do?  Thought so.  I would like to think I wasn't in the minority.  I don't know what it is about men when they think that they have to have sex all the time?  And what about the wife who takes care of the kids, cleans the house, prepares meals, takes the dog to the vet and on top of that works outside the home?  Thank God there is a new book out called My Spouse Wants More Sex Than Me: The 2-Minute Solution for a Happier Marriage by Dr. Ruxandra LeMay to help us figure out what to do about that.  Is there even a solution much less a 2-minute solution?

So why do men care about sex so much? In My Spouse Wants More Sex Than Me, Dr. LeMay shares the truth and the differences between men and women in terms of sex.  Once we understand that, we are over the first hurdle.   Then she helps us understand each other's experiences to find the time, energy and motivation for sex.  What I liked about this book is that it didn't just deal with the woman's libido, it was eye-opening information about the men as well because the same thing can happen to them, too.

Dr. LeMay explains the different stages one goes through during a relationship which I found to be very informative.  I've read many relationship books before but she made really good sense.  If we determine which stage we're in at any point, that's a good first step.

I was most interested in stage three - the marriage section.  Although I am no longer married, that's the stage where everything fell apart for me when I was.  The dating process was great, the sex was great - it was the part after having kids when things started to go sour and had I had this book to help me understand what was going on with both of us, would breaking up have been the answer in the end?  That's water under the bridge now but I still needed answers.  All I remember is sex wasn't a top priority and raising kids and worry about bills was.

In My Spouse Wants More Sex Than Me, Dr. LeMay explains how female sexuality changes dramatically at this stage of a relationship.  As she put it, "Without sex, you might as well just be roommates."  Whoa.  That's calling the kettle black.

There is so much information packed in this book to help your love life, things that really opened my eyes, that I give this 5 book trees.

My Ranking: